Can I complain more about how tired I've been?
It's the heat, it's the heat, it's the heat. And there is really no end in sight. The DBF and I have been spending as much time as possible at the beach, but it seems this weekend we will have to cede the space to his sister and boyfriend. So we'll be navigating the hot cement city. Big sigh.
I did finally get my butt out of bed and out on a run today. 3 miles, nothing big. Nothing remarkable. But still good to get this butt moving.
I don't know what it is that makes getting up early so hard. For a while I craved getting up and running.
Again, I blame the heat.
But there has been this loss of... need?
And perhaps that's a good thing. There is no "I need to focus/cry/rage/distract/get angry, I'll go on a run". Running is obviously exhausting, though the more I do it it's become less of an exhausting experience. I also have really fallen in love with long runs. It's a form of meditation. You start running and maybe for the first 15 minutes your mind wanders, but after a while you realize "I'm gonna be doing this for a heck of a long time", and you let your brain let go... and there's just running. And Central Park, or the street, or a little woman with a walker. So your mind wanders, but not really about you, your problems, your day, your wishes and dreams... just about whatever is. You can't think about much else. And of course there's the real experience to draw you back. Like a side cramp to make you have to focus really only on breathing.
And that's why I love running. So why am I having such a hard time getting my butt out there to do it?
Or something else?
At this point I don't know. So let's let this one ruminate for a while, and we'll see what else pops up... And I promise to be better about blogging... At least I hope so!